Monday, November 28, 2011

Stockings - More than you ever wanted to know!


Stockings 101
I have an admission to make, I have a stocking fetish... Only a little one, only about 60 pairs at the moment – it has been over 100, I’m in recovery! 
Just a small part of the collection!

I have noticed that the art of wearing stockings is a dying one, so I thought I might try to educate anyone who might be interested. Plus its getting too hot to wear them here so I have to prolong the pleasure somehow, and talking about them is nearly as good as wearing them.

Firstly, stockings go up to mid-thigh and stop there, they need garters to hold them up, if they go all the way up to the waist they are pantihose or tights. I’ve noticed that pantihose is a term usually used for plain sheers (see-through) and tights for opaques (not see-through) and patterns.

I’m going to ignore hold-up’s (horrid things) they generally have a silicone band and hold themselves up by gripping the flesh. Ugh!

So, here we go, everything a pin-up lass or boudoir belle needs to know about wearing, buying and looking after stockings

Wearing stockings – Garter belts and girdles.

I’ve noticed a whole heap of mainstream lingerie ranges coming out with garter belts, otherwise known as suspender belts or “suspies”, beware, beware and be careful what you buy!

Modern suspenders tend to have very small or narrow garter clips, quite often made of plastic. They are very pretty and perfectly suitable if you only intend to wear them for 30mins or so... If your looking for all day/evening wear, these baby’s will drive you crazy, unhooking themselves at all the inappropriate moments.

Look for wide, retro style clips with a metal hook and a rubbery tab for best results.

Don’t fall for plastic boning. Lots of modern garters, like cheap bustier’s, are made with thin plastic boning, you might think they’re going to hold you in and give you a pretty shape and they probably will, while you stand in the fitting room. Just don’t sit down, ever. Plastic boning changes its shape, causing strange divots and bumps and digging into the skin, not good, not comfortable either. I stick on the safe side and don’t trust any boning; I rip it out if I have too!

For comfort and ease choose retro shaped garter belts, sitting on the waist, they have thick bands and fit tight. I recommend 6 garter clips for the best result but 4 is fine, more than 6 and your heading into fetish territory which is perfectly fine if that’s where you want to go!

Personally, for day to day wear, I go for the roll-on girdle every time. Stretchy, flattering and foolproof!  A girdle is basically a tight stretchy skirt, but really short. You can get panty girdles and shorty ones, in modern jargon we’re talking “shapewear”. I’m not just blowing smoke here but my “More than a Date” girdle is the best I’ve ever worn, I designed it because I knew what I was looking for and plenty of lasses have agreed with me on this one. Comfortable, flattering, keeps your stockings up and your seams straight! Perfect!
“Roll – on” means there are no hooks or zips, you fold the top half over the bottom half, step in, and pull up. Rolling the top half back up again to your waist. Fastenings are bulky, roll-ons are smooth.

Putting them on

Please for the love of nylon, don’t put your toe in the top end and pull, I’ve seen it done, the world is full of heathens!!  Put your thumbs into the opening and gather the stocking up with your fingers until you reach the toe and then slip your wee foot in.

If your wearing seams, make sure you keep the seam straight as you gather, as your pulling the stocking up your leg, keep your little fingers on the seam so you can position it up the back of your leg as you go. Then check your handy work in a mirror, you’ll get good at it over time!

When putting on super fine and full fashioned stockings its always recommended that you wear gloves to avoid snagging them on your nails.

When wearing full fashioned stockings I find its easier if your legs are freshly shaven and well moisturised, the stockings cling to your legs and stay up better, but you will need to get your seams straight the first time, because they are hard to move!

Stockings can make your feet slippery in your shoes, spraying the bottom of your stockinged feet with hairspray can help with this.

When your happy with your seams, its time to clip them in place. There is no easy way to do the back garter clips, I’ve heard people recommend sitting down for it, but I do it standing, see how you go. Always keep your clips and straps straight. Twisted clips will dig into your skin like a bitch! Trust me, I have scars, I learnt the hard way.

Oh, and wear your knickers over your suspender belt! Its smoother under your clothes, its easier to go to the bathroom and in the boudoir or the back of the car, you can keep the stockings on but get those panties off, hot!

In the 1950’s sweater girls liked to wear their stockings inside out – to make the seams more prominent – its not a fashion that translates, please wear your stockings the right way in, fuzzy edges go on the inside.
Also, if your wearing a mock Cuban or French heels, the detail goes on the heel, over your achilles, not half way up your calf. I’ve argued with models over this, trust me I’m right, read the next part on vintage stockings and you’ll see why.

Stockings too long? I have this problem all the time, roll the tops down before you clip them into place.

Buying Stockings

There are heaps of places to buy stockings if you know where to look! 

In desperation, there are always the adult shops, the quality is poor and the price is high, so only if your desperate. They primarily stock Leg Avenue and Music Legs here in Australia, choose Leg Avenue over Music Legs, but they are both pretty bad.

Lingerie stores generally have something, the ranges are small and the quality mimics the quality of the lingerie they sell.

Department stores vary, sometimes they are great, sometimes they aren’t. It just depends whats in vogue. Prices are generally high.

I buy 99% of my stockings online from the UK. I don’t know why but they are so much cheaper in the UK and the ranges are amazing. I’m currently addicted to www.stockingsHQ.com and I totally recommend them, range is great, service is great, price is great!

I buy my vintage stockings online too, but I’m not telling you where! 

Vintage and Full Fashioned Stockings

If you want to get that period look right or for the touch of fine nylon, you want full fashioned stockings. They are oh so sexy, but they are not easy, or cheap, you’ve been warned...


Full Fashioned Stockings debuted in the 1939 Worlds Fair, they were made of the latest discovery from DuPont, Nylon.  Nylon stockings went into production slowly and there availability was severely hampered by WWII, owning them was restricted to movie stars and wealthy socialites. Attributing to their cult status I’m sure. They are still in production to this day, made on the same machines, the same way. 

Prior to this time ladies mostly wore silk and knitted cotton stockings, and they fastened them with garters (not a garter belt, but garters like those tossed at weddings, bands around the thigh). So if you want to reproduce a 20’s or 30’s look, sheer nylon is not the way to go, its something that really bothers me in period films and TV...
Gingers Snaps!

Full Fashioned stockings are non-stretch, they are woven flat and shaped like a woman’s leg, then they are stitched down the back. They don’t feel anything like modern stockings. The non-stretch quality does produce two “problems”, bagging at the knees and wrinkling at the ankles. I actually savour both of these qualities as proof of “the real thing”. You might not!

Dolly wears a rather trashed pair of modern FF stockings with a cuban heel
There are several other qualities known only in true full fashioned stockings, they have a reinforced toe, foot and heel. Heel shapes can vary, the most common are French or point heels and Cuban or square finished heels. 

They have small “spider tracks” on either side of the seam where stitches have been dropped or added to create shape. Also, at the welt (the reinforced top) there is a “key hole” finish at the seam, the hole goes on the inside. Some stockings are stamped on the welt, this goes on the outside of the left thigh.

If you want to really impress me (of course I have admirers who want to send me stockings, ha!) The holy grail for me is nude, black foot stockings with a large key hole, preferably vintage, Cuban heel, in a 9... just so you know!

Whats Blackfoot? Its when the reinforced toe, foot, heel and the stitching in the seam, are in black. Also known as high contrast.

How does vintage sizing work? Vintage stockings are generally sized 8 through to 11, this corresponds to the length of your foot in inches. You should get them a little bigger to allow room for your toes to move, or you’ll rip straight through them. When you put them on, leave a bit of length at the toe, kind of like putting on a condom... oh dear... Vintage sellers will often also list the length of the stockings, vintage stockings are really short, so check this if your tall. They may also be described as “Opera Length” That also means long. Coloured bands at the welt, can indicate extra length or width, or as with my black ones with hot pink bands, it means they are genuine Schiaparelli! 

Be careful when buying vintage, I don’t think sellers lie, they just don’t know. They often list FF stockings as 1930’s or 1940’s. 1930’s is impossible, 1940’s is very unlikely. FF stockings still accounted for 5% of the stocking market in Britain in the 1970’s! But if they still look like FF stockings, and the price is right, buy them! One thing I really look for is the texture of the stocking itself, it should be smooth not crepe. These crepe finish stockings are known as mesh stockings, they are later in date, and not as nice. So many pin-up girls buy crepe finished or matte finished faux FF stockings for photo shoots, ladies, you can do better!

RHT: Means reinforced heel and toe, seamless, they are a fetish all of their own, just not one that’s really fashionable right now, maybe you can bring it back!
Mesh RHT stockings from the 60/70's
Stockings marked “irregulars” or “imperfects” are just that, the factories that still make FF stockings often sell off irregulars now just as they did in the past. I’ve never bought them but I have a friend who has and couldn’t find any problems with them. They are often much cheaper new, although vintage sellers tend to ignore this.

Washing Stockings

Ok, this is my big flaw with my stockings, I often just chuck them in the wash with everything else, usually I’ll add the luxury of a delicate cycle and a wash bag... This is criminal, and just plain lazy!!

Even worse I do know how to wash them properly, so today I’m washing 2 pairs of vintage stockings, properly!

I always believe in washing vintage stockings before wear, they can be so delicate and I don’t want them to just fall apart due to a build up of dust in the fibres, plus any spring I can put in them is good!
Today I’m trialling a delicate wash solution from The Laundress, I got this from www.dirtyprettythings.com, they also sell Cervin Stockings at a good price, yummy!


To avoid snagging your stockings you can hand wash them with gloves on, or put them in a jar, like I do! Shake and rinse, easy!




When drying, don’t hang them on the line, they snag on the pegs and flap around grabbing anything else they can get. The vintage method is to roll them up in a fluffy towel OR press between 2 towels with a rolling pin! I don’t own a rolling pin (shock, horror) so I tried the first method. It was pretty good, but they still felt a little damp to me, so I’ve hung over a rail in the bathroom! 



















...and I think thats it! Possibly everything I know about stockings! I hope it was useful!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Salon de Salope!


Ah kittens, I know, I’ve been gone, I’ve treated you mean, alas, how you must have missed me!
I jest of course! It has been awhile though, I managed to exhaust myself, get sick and spend every hour that I wasn’t at my day job asleep. How dull...

But let me tell you about a little something I did before the Eveready bunny ran out of batteries.

My little self and the luscious Lady Jade of Suzi Homemaker put together a wee pop-up shop called Salon De Salope as part of a little West Australian event called Outskirts. Of course we cohorts – no show without punch – There was a photobooth form David Woolley, Cupcakes from Clara Cupcakes, Millinery from Arnavez Lindsay, Handbags from Martha and Lilly, Artwork from Bonnie Boogaard, Fashion from Fallen Feathers, Rope bondage performances by K42, Burlesque from Samantha Diamond and Vivianne Marlowe, A pastie making workshop from yours truly and a vintage hair and makeup workshop!!

Tell me, is it possible to do more in 2 days?
My little stall

Birdies and the fabulous birdcage!

Our Feisty Window Dispay!

Miss Diamond's Performance - Amazing photo from David Woolley

The innocence of children!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Focusing on the Fabulous!


Firstly I’d like to say a Big CONGRATULATIONS to Kelly Ann Doll for getting first runner up in Miss Burlesque Australia, love you kitten, can’t wait to see some footage of your show!!

Now, in the last few months I’ve made a big effort to get out in the world and be open to new experiences and try new things and work really damn hard on the label. There have been a few triumphs and there have been quite a few failures. It seems that being a good person and expecting others to be the same, doesn’t necessarily work out and that my natural state of “creative hermit” does have allot of merits. But I’m not giving up on you old world and today we focus on the fabulous!

My turn as burlesque debutant, Tipsy Bubble and getting my boobs out onstage!

I’d wanted to do it for years, but I’d not performed for so long and I’d accepted my back stage role as “designer” that crossing the divide was terribly difficult to contemplate. But folks there is a bridge between the worlds of “crew” and “talent” and baby I crossed it! I also got to give a big “f#ck you” to my ex-husband who so kindly pointed out that those burlesque girls are “allot slimmer than you”. Hmph!

I’d like to say thank you to the lovely Samantha Diamond for all her encouragement and coaching and my new name, and to Black Cherry for having me! If your in Sydney, go to Black Cherry, so much fun and soo much bang for your buck!
So what can I say? First things first, its all preparation, rehearsals and forking out the cash. Getting all feathered and sparkly doesn’t come cheap! From false eyelashes to getting grip put on my stilettos I have to say appreciate more and more all the work performers go to to create their acts.

I’d also like to highly recommend Jo Weldon’s work, “The Burlesque Handbook” its brilliant, the woman is fantastic, everyone get down on your knees before her!

Of course I made my own costume, and of course I put all my orders and everyone else’s requests before my own and soo it all got done at the last minute. I love a deadline!  This is me, at the awesome Petty Cash Cafe finishing my pasties, on the day!!
Then it was on to the show, and to stage fright and too many nervous ladies in one very small space! I think one of the best things about working in this sort of environment is the people you meet, and there were some lovely gals, I dint get to see their performances because I was on near the very end, but everyone was so encouraging and sweet that it was a total honour to be a part of it all.

The things I learnt:
#1 Take your watch off you silly goose, a glove pull that reveals a very masculine watch is just rather odd!
#2 Bring something to put on back stage over or instead of your costume, because...
#3 You can’t sit down in a dress covered in balloons and feathers.
#4 Getting stage fright and breaking out in a sweat in a dress covered in feathers is really uncomfortable and leads to a paranoia that your going to get onstage with feathers stuck to your armpits. And other places. 

Finally I’d like to mention the real performers of the night Mark Winmill and Lillian Starr, if you get the chance to see them, do it! Mark came up to me back stage and said lovely things about my performance and all I could think was “Oh my god, the gorgeous man is speaking to me!” ... “Oh my god, I think he’s saying something nice” ... “Oh my god Simone stop gawking and say something back!!” Oh and Lillian’s “Cherry Pie” routine is an absolute show stopper!

So, I did it! All the way down to pasties and a g-string! Loardy! Since I don’t have a photo of the final reveal, you’ll have to make do with this one, the morning after, no make up and no editing, but you do get to see my fabulous pasties!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Designing For Kelly Ann Doll


That glorious pocket rocket, Miss Kelly Ann Doll is the reigning Miss Burlesque Victoria and this weekend she competes for the national title! Woohoo! Of course, she will be wearing Kiss Me Quick!

I’ve been designing costumes for Kelly for about 5 years, she’s amazing to work with, and although I feel I’ve failed her occasionally, she loves me still... Kelly is so tiny that sometimes my overtly theatrical style swamps her and I’ve learnt to pull it back, allot! 
Bless her, she’s always found a way to style whatever I give her to work with. Its one of the things I love about working in burlesque that’s different from any work I’ve done as a costume designer, I’m not creating the full look, I create pieces that evolve with the star. They morph into different outfits, with different pairings, stockings, hats and gloves are added, and rhinestones applied. Glorious girliness! 

I think her current pieces represent some of the best work I’ve ever done, and she makes them look amazing! 

  This is the number that won her, her current title, watch it, its unbelievably hot:



I designed the bra and knickers, they are unaltered by the star, in hand beaded Cambodian lace! You can get a better look at it here, as she poses for the Sunday Age!
And yesterday another little piece for her costume this weekend (to add to the outfit on the left) flew on its way to her...


















Drool over Kelly a little more on her facebook
If your interested in getting your own custom Kiss Me Quick piece, email me!

Some of kelly’s previous costumes:
In an emerald green bustle and matching bra.

Kelly is in a KMQ custom pussy bow playsuit, on the left!

In high waisted knickers and matching bra, I had to take the knickers in twice, she is so tiny!!